the big day is upon me and i was rather depressed. although i shouldn't be because of all the things i'm appreciative of in my life; let me count the ways.
> my boyfriend is awesome in so many ways
> we own property
> my health is excellent
> i'm challenged at work
> my mom lives far away
> my dad lives close by
> my nephew can say my name (well, it's the word for auntie in cantonese)
> i have good friends
> my hair finally looks sexy
> i don't own a car but my mom let's me drive hers while she is away.
> filmmaking gives me the opportunity to be creative
plus, the fact that i live in the wealthiest part of the world and have running water and flushing toilets and heat and can access an over-abundance of food.... these sobering thoughts still didn't dissipate the heaviness in my chest UNTIL. well, a couple of things happened:
1) rob made me a gourmet lunch and brought it to my work.
2) rob sent me a bouquet of orchids at work. they were so beautiful and so unexpected.
3) i went to the gym after work. well, actually, what happened is that about 100 birds decided to shit on my mom's car while i was in calgary. so, i decided to go to a car wash at 2nd ave and main right after work. the car wash is pretty close to the gym i pay a monthly fee at and so i went in. i hadn't gone to this gym in about 6 months.
ok, all you judgmental types, the monthly fee is only $13 so go easy on me.
anyways, i'm doing my regular cardio circuit where you run for 30 seconds then use a weight machine for 30 seconds, and on and on. it all felt so great. i was so happy.
4) i decided to treat myself to all the magazines that looked good at my favourite magazine store: what your mother doesn't know on 4th avenue in kitsilano.
5) i came home and rob had bought me some of my favourite movies and i opened a nice bundle of gifts from a good friend.
6) then i found a super lovely letter that rob had written to me. [rob works tonight]
i'm really fucked up in the birthday department; i usually get really depressed and want to be alone. well, i'm alone tonight but i feel the warmth of friends and family.